One of the most painful things we can do to ourselves is let other people define who we are.
We lose ourselves.
We lose our own sovereignty.
The way we judge ourselves can be ten times more painful than how others judge us.
We’re all afraid of being judged. And sometimes we take other people’s opinions on board, and slowly get caught in a loop:
I’m not good enough.
Something is wrong with me.
I should be different.
But the most painful thing is not always what people think about us.
It’s how we start thinking about ourselves.
We give our power away to the outside world.
We leave ourselves.
We try to keep up with the world, with what people expect, with what people think we should be.
And then we start believing:
What they think about me is who I am.
But hold on a second.
What other people think about you is not who you are.
We keep letting people define us.
What if we could become an island to ourselves?
We can’t control what other people think or say about us.
But we can choose what we do with it.
We can listen.
We can learn from their opinions.
We can reflect on their judgment.
But we don’t have to abandon our own existence, our own values, or our own truth just because someone sees us differently.
We can hear them without losing ourselves.
We can be open without giving our power away.
We can learn from others without letting them define us.
I can hear what you think of me,
and still honour my own value.
